...is old enough to get stuck under her crib. Twice. In ten minutes.
...looks like a little T-Rex because she just learned how to walk and holds her arms all curled up for balance.
...now uses "what happens if I sit on it?" as a way to analyze objects old and new. The experiment involves carefully placing [it] on the floor, standing up, turning her back to [it] and then slowly backing up with diaper end out, and collapsing. Alarm clocks, as it turns out, break. Paper doesn't.
...can be distracted from slamming her fat hand on my keyboard by the question, "Where is your otter?!" only if you say it like he might be on fire.