Thursday, August 30, 2012

Long Summer

It's been a summer of highs and lows.

I made a rule for myself when I started this blog never to write about being unhappy, at least, not if I couldn't give it a positive spin. The trouble with this summer has been that for every unhappy moment that has stayed my hand as it hovered above the keyboard, there have been overwhelmingly wonderful ones to match. They're so overwhelming, in fact, that they're a challenge to write about, even when they were quiet enough to give me time.

Baby K is a most beautiful and perfect baby, and it was she, arriving after a short and simple delivery in the middle of June, who gave sweet relief to my long and uncomfortable pregnancy.

K looks nothing like her big sisters, with huge eyes and a head of dark brown hair.

But, God, is she beautiful.

Handling two little ones has been the challenge everyone warned me it would be. It also came with a dose of guilt more significant than even my Catholic upbringing had prepared me for. A lot of my lows stem from realizing that I'm just not enough to go around -- the babies, the big kids, the house and gardens, the work, the husband, the extra house we're trying to sell -- everything needs full and undivided attention that I can't provide.

I hope in the coming months to work out a system for organizing my life, and I'll try to keep you posted on my progress. In the meantime, I'm going to keep looking at this beautiful baby in my arms and trying to think it's all just sort of amusing.

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