Friday, October 9, 2009

A Little Advice, or, You Can't Sugarcoat Problematic Punctuation

There has been fretting. And wringing of hands. There has been hemming and hawing, and avoidance of eye contact. There's been worry hanging overhead for a while...a feeling that really, really something should be done about this bothersome item.

But really, what's a little nagging feeling without a helpful dose of procrastination to keep it alive? (and don't tell me the answer is "resolved". I will resent you.)

My problem is this: my title.

I'm calling this blog at the moment Here Goes Somethin': An Impractical Guide to Bumbling Through Domesticity.

And so far, the blog has been funny and cranky and boring and stuff...but it hasn't really been a guide, has it? A guide has responsibility. A guide implies advice, implies tips and education. A guide steers you through jungles avoiding the warthogs and quicksand, all the while chopping little hack-marks into the trees so that you don't get lost.

I have let you down. I have not been chopping little hack-marks. Dropping crumbs, perhaps, but crumbs are really quite inferior to little hack-marks.

We all know what happens to crumbs in the jungle.

With this in mind, I present my first piece of important domestic advice:

They are usually full of children,
likely all in different phases of a sugar high (or low)
and prepared to push you into the oven.

Look! It's almost poetry!

What's that, you say? Candy houses don't live in the jungle but instead can be found in Germanic-variety forests?

Well then, smarty pants, if you know all the answers, riddle me this: would the possessive form of my blog's title, abbreviated to Here Goes Somethin', have two apostrophes before the "s"?

These are the things that keep me up at night.

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